Sandra van der Hooft
guidance from a
THE TRANSFORMATION TO MOTHERHOOD
Being pregnant, becoming a mother is such a life-changing event in your life – the whole process from pregnancy to motherhood. Physically and mentally, you experience a complete change as a woman. You encounter yourself, surprised by your inner strength, overwhelmed by the love and confronted with qualities that you never thought you had.
The transformation is sometimes so overwhelming that you lose yourself in it. You can’t handle it.
Your labour was very different from what you expected. And it is a negative birth experience. It can have a major impact on you and motherhood.
“Fear for Birth”
Feeling nervous or a little anxious about your pregnancy or birth is very healthy. It can be insecurity, or you don’t know what to expect. It can also develop after a negative/traumatic birth experience.
Research shows that the more support you have from your environment, the lower the prenatal stress. So seek help in your area! Talk to family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances about your fear. Avoid horror stories in your area. Conversations can also be an excellent method.
Is it possible to give birth in a relaxed way?
Absolutely! It starts with believing in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, the people you help won’t trust you either.
It also depends on how ready you are for this experience. Can you surrender to the process? Can you release all the negative stories? Do you have faith in your body? Do you have faith in your skills? Are you ready for a fullfilling, relaxed and peacefull Birth?
In this conversation we can see if I can do something for you.
Why is it so essential to prepare for childbirth during your pregnancy?
To discuss your uncertainties, to ask questions, to be with women who are in the same phase.
If you start with relaxation exercises and breathing techniques at an early stage, you will get the best benefit during your pregnancy and certainly during your birth. Your body gets a sort of automatic pilot. The moment you think of a relaxing exercise or music that you use during those exercises, your body will respond immediately.
Giving birth is one of the most impressive moments in your life. It can be an experience that gives you strength, allows you to grow as a person. On the contrary, it can also have the opposite effect if it is a negative experience.
What do you feel when you think about giving birth?
It is so different how women feel about it. The one finds it exciting, the other anxious, and some are looking forward to it.
By preparing for the birth, you have tools to use, and you are aware of the choices you can make yourself so that you are not overwhelmed and that you can have the best birth experience.
Women prepare for pregnancy and especially for childbirth.
When the baby is born, the biggest challenge comes.
Women often do not prepare for this and can, therefore, be surprised with what is coming at you.
How wonderful would it be if you were given tips on how to handle your worries and have fun about the crazy moments in some situations …. That you can join a community of women who are all at the same stage.
And then you suddenly become a mother, or there is family expansion. You have had a birth. Depending on how the birth went, you will recover quickly or less quickly, but one thing is sure: Everyone must recover from Delivery.
We all have that picture of happiness, joy and love when your baby arrives. But the reality is not always like that. You gave birth to a beautiful baby, but you don’t feel happy. A few days after birth, your mood suddenly changes. You can only cry, and you feel deeply sad. You have no idea why, but you feel gloomy, and the happy mood has completely disappeared. There is a good chance that you have the baby blues. But what if it gets worse instead of better?
The transition from pregnancy to motherhood can be intense. You can experience baby blues during the maternity period. It is a short period of gloom. It usually involves several days to a few weeks. But about 10% of women who have just had a baby, the sadness does not go away and is also more serious than with the baby blues
You can recognize postnatal depression by sadness, no sense in anything, not wanting to eat and not being able to sleep. Do you have gloomy moments that don’t go away, you lie awake all night, you can’t enjoy things (not even your newborn baby; you might not want to hold him, or you wish he were never born), you have no appetite and if you look up by the day, make sure you get help. In 1 in 10 women, these depressive feelings do not automatically disappear after Delivery. They end up in postpartum depression or postnatal depression. This depression can last for weeks, months or sometimes longer.
There are also many women in between, No Postnatal depression but do experience very sad moments. By seeking help, you can prevent the chance of postnatal depression.
- Gloomy feelings that don’t pass, and you can feel deeply depressed
- Fatigue complaints that don’t go away
- Feeling unhappy and not believing it will go even better
- Feeling guilty because you find yourself failing as a mother or partner
- Afraid of the future and afraid that you are or will not be a good mother
- Bad sleeping
- Worry a lot
- The people around you don’t always understand you
- You are disappointed by motherhood, and you get angry faster
- You feel confused
- It is possible that you do not find your child sweet or interesting and wants to reject.
- Unbalanced emotional life
- You can suffer from (great) fears or have very negative thoughts.
There are different degrees of gloom after birth from a little bit to very serious. Crying, anxiety and irritability, worry and poor sleep are the most characteristic features. Sometimes extra guidance is needed to build a good bond between you and the baby. In most cases, this can be treated with conversations and changes in your habits.
If you say yes to one or more of these questions, coaching can offer you something.
An emergency caesarean section, delivery with a vacuum pump or a lot of blood loss can all be reasons for a negative experience. Usually, that’s not the only thing. The many women I have spoken with indicate that they are most affected by the lack of clear communication and emotional support during and after delivery. Besides, there is often a lack of aftercare. Unfortunately, this is a subject that is still subject to an enormous taboo—complaints from a nasty or even traumatic birth.
Do you look back on birth that was not at all like the way you imagined it? Do you talk about this with your partner, family or friends? Or do you experience a lot of incomprehension in your environment?
People often do not see that you are not doing well. A frequently heard comment is “The baby is healthy, that’s the most important thing” but what about the MOM?
Do you suffer from negative feelings when you think about birth? Do you have symptoms that limit you in your daily life? Then it is time to seek help.
It is essential to take good care of yourself after giving birth. For stress, anxiety or other trauma-related symptoms, it is of utmost importance. Take a rest, ensure adequate exercise and a healthy diet. It will help you to increase your energy level and therefore gives you a better basis for seeking help and for treatment.
Together we will look at what is needed to process your negative experience. I work with different methods, and I think it is essential that it suits you. It is crucial that you feel comfortable with me. Treatment can only work if you feel free to open up. Then we can look together where the pain points are and treat them.
I can help you to reverse your negative experience so that you can look back on your birth without a major emotional burden. You no longer have to carry on with this negative charge in your head, you can focus on motherhood, and the present physical or mental complaints will decrease. Pregnancy and childbirth have a considerable impact on you as a woman and especially if it has been a negative experience. As soon as you get started with this, you will experience that you will feel much better.
What clients say!
Sandra has a warm, personal and relatable style which feels very supportive while also conveying her extensive knowledge!
Joining the Natural Birth Experience is for you if you have prepared your hospital bag/home birth kit but need to work on getting your mind ready to bring new life into the world. It has a holistic/whole-person approach, supported by a warm facilitator and small group of like minded mums-to-be
I experienced the course as very pleasant. Sandra has a sober but positive view on giving birth. Despite a dreadful birth of my first child, I have gained trust and will aproach my second birth with confidence. The material that she treats is very complete. Also the contact with the other student (s) in the masterclasses is very nice and valuable. Thank you Sandra!
Sandra was the winning lottery ticket for us. By following the private course I experienced peace and I confidently approached my birth. She has guided me in a soft and trustfull way, but also my husband, during the delivery. This gave me confidence during my birth. During our postpartum period she gave me a lot of confidence as a starting mother, by answering many questions extensively, and by showing me that I did well as a mother. Sandra is a valuable addition in such a vulnerable period. She coordinates what is needed and looks at what is good for the whole family. And she has humor and sobriety, I wish many new families such an engaging companion for a new beginning.